| Started work for a week now. Workload is not particularly enormous apart from when I am on call. But I work at like turtle speed and I am so inefficient in doing drips and taking blood. I feel so incompetent every minute. Beginning todoubt my ability to cope with the stress as a doctor. Used to worry about my ability to cure now I doubt my ability to do no harm..... Work is just fraught with traps that would make patient die or suffer as a result of your ignorance, incompetence or negligence. I don't want to lead a life like this.... I hope the patient will be fine. |
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| Maybe because I did not enter med school with the right intentions, I have never contemplated on the commitment, the competency and the clarity of thoughts required of a doctor. I have totally underestimated the job. Perhaps it was not until year 5 that I have realized my interest in medicine (at least the medicine part =P) and started to put effort into it. The year went by and I was again and again fascinated by the skills, the acumen and the devotion of some of our physicians while at the same time I feel I am pathetically short of their expectations. I tried to rectify the mistakes but with a shaky foundation, there isn't much that you can build on it... My incompetence was incessantly revealed over these few days of exams and I was extremely disappointed of myself. I could forgive myself if I am not at all interested in the subject but my "new-found" passion has forbidden me to do so. Graduating on time is perhaps not as important as becoming a competent person. |
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| 5 years I have spent learning the art and science of medicine, but what have I gained, what have I learnt? Even the most basic stuff that should be in the back of our minds, I have failed to recall.... I feel so unprepared, so unqualified to become a doctor. I was like making random guessess on the diagnosis of the cases and giving random treatment to diseases, is this what I will become in the future? I last thing I would want to happen to me is to end up on the newspaper for some medico-legal scandals. Left the campus with a despondent heart. I knew I have made a mess out of my written exams, thats how I'm going wrap up my undergraduate education? Devoid of strength to battle on for the clinic exams which I am never good at. I am just helpless against the black holes that have emerged, they've drained away my entire soul and strength..... |
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| Leo: We all tend to project onto other people the unattractive aspects of ourselves that we refuse to acknowledge. We are also drawn to anyone who expresses the fully activated versions of our own sleeping potentials. Everywhere we go then, our vision is clouded by the disowned psychic material that is floating around our unconscious minds. That's the bad news. The good news is that in the next eight weeks you will have an enhanced ablity to get access to the liabilities and powers that are buried beneath the surface of your awareness. As a result, your ability to see the objective truth about the world around you should grow dramatically. |
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| Physicians are real gentlemen and scholars, while surgeons and barbers are the same flock. Haha~ What an interesting bit from history. =P |
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